the devil and god are raging inside me

my mom
says it's wrong
to take revenge
or pay back with what
you were given.
but I do disagree.
and she said
that that's my dad's side.
her side is
apparently more
sensitive,
kind,
and humble.
all the things
I know I'm not.
she says that
my "dad's side"
kicks in
when I get angry
or I don't want to apologize.
in all,
she guesses my flaws
are because of my dad.

maybe I
have the 
devil and god
raging inside
me?

she said no.
there is no god
or devil.
just pure
fucking
genetics.

blind sides

why am I so
damned intelligent
if I can't even
place my feelings right

the arrogance
coexisting inside me
takes over the little
sensitive parts I had left.

if I just didn't 
feel the need
to be the best
all the damn time

I'd care
not even as half
as much as I
care now.

about anything at all.
you, exams,
your friends,
lovers;
or my lovers.

or maybe the people
I should care about:
like my friends
my family

and my cat.