"i wish i believed you when you said that this was my home"
i'm calling it quits when the race hasn't even begun
we're far from drowning ourselves in the pool
let's keep it simple, let's keep it clean,
i'll stay dry and you'll stay mean
i'm dropping a funeral party for the dreams i had
everyone's invited to see them crash
i should've thought it over when i had the chance
at least not there's something i can torture myself with
as each day in silence goes by
i only write about you
to make myself feel special
until the sun begins to shine
again, whatever that
has ever meant
i graduate. i graduate and i feel that sense of relief of finally being a major. i have two jobs, not because i particularly need them, but because they don't take up a full day so i can work in both. now i'm a major with two jobs, a small flat in some place i'd like to live, with a lot pf plants in the kitchen. the apartment is old and weary, there are leakages in the kitchen ceiling that come from my neighbor above, but nothing to worry about. i don't have pets, i don't have a boyfriend, but i don't feel alone. i've learnt to enjoy my own company. at the end of the day when i get home and get to enjoy playing a record while i work out or take a shower and read. money is not a problem. i can afford living comfortably, and save up, maybe for a car, mostly to travel. i have a good relationship with my university mates and my other friends. i have a good relationship with my parents. i get to maintain a weight i feel comfortable in. i get to drink wine on friday nights and go on dates with guys.
i wish there was an update.
i miss someone. i just don't know who.
life is fleeting before my eyes
and your interests flutters and runs down
faster than i can say your name,
because i haven't
i have never s a i d y o u r n a me
how come what's not over
breaks my heart?
remember when i sat on your lap
and i kissed you
it breaks my heart
i wish i could consume my weekends
with someone who cares enough
but i'll guess i'll restore my faith
in emtpy houses and late evening rom coms
or maybe in red wine
i have so much work to do
why do you leave me alone?