does the internet know how it hurts?
can't it count on how many of my followers have cried at night?
sometimes it seems to know.
it kinda only shows me
what i want to believe in
spoon fed reality (but i
i really needed that.)
you can't block out whatever hunts you
but you can close your doors and shut your phone
it's more like blacking out into light, i guess
nobody will miss me if i'm gone,
nobody will know if i'm gone
i could stray away
and i wouldn't be lost.
so how could i ever wish you wrong
if the only times i sleep are when
i can stop thinking about you?
i guess i would want you gone but not from this dimension
it's all yours, i appreciate the efforts
mostly out of my space and universe
shift my attention
towards something greater than me,
maybe moons, stars,
not your lips or your comebacks...
however i still hope
your plane gets delayed
and you never come back.
i hope your misery plans
and you travel the world
because i don't even think
could follow you.
i wanna reactivate my strength
he said i was some sort of gift
the universe has been kinder to strangers
and strange as it seems i'm falling apart for it
whoever might have shuffled the cards and
gave me, facing down
the sour sentiment of doom
i must appreciate that because
now i have slit my wrist and
they have not bled.
i might ever catch a glimpse of your boy shorts running down the street
and the backpacker backpack backpacking
the burden you carry
that can be seen from afar
the train station is not far
if you want to run
this moon is such a drag;
it has limited the amount time i think about myself
if i open my eyes i can't see clearly
if i open my eyes, are you there?
all in spite i still believe
whatever came back and whatever will rush me forward
must be a message of where i should
lay my head and rest
has been aching and now i have
some really, really bad cramps in my legs
i ran away again,
but this time i was trying to chase you
instead you tripped, fell
i continued running and now i'm here
short of breath
do you know how hard it was? how hard it has been? like a shipwreck. i had to find compliance in things i thought buried. i wasn't really sure of what i was doing most of the time, trying to check your timespans and timelines in the hopes that i could catch a glimpse of you watching me. but most times i just got tired and it was useless, for messages sent were answered but not the prayers. not the prayers. an empty stomach followed a headache and i guess this is time for me to find a way out of the life that has been dragging me into this.
Labels: alone, call of attention, disregarding, drown, fear, love, m