stranger's disease

"i wish i believed you when you said that this was my home"

4/27/13

 

the story so far

and we became friends

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jealousy

it surprises me how much
I try to ignore it
but it just grows
unmeasuredly

unexpectedly
and everyday
it's more and
more and more
peculiar

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4/26/13

 

Luca


When I disappear, do you fear for the sister I took?
When I disappear, it is clear I am up to no good
I am drearily blunt, letting this bed wetting cosmonaut
"Son, the last thing you'll realize
you need is what you've already got"

So touch me or don't
Just let me know
Where you've been

So drop me a line with a hook and some raw bleeding bait
(one, two, three, four)
For I am uncaught and still swimming alone in the lake
(five, six, seven, eight)
Shimmering under a moon made in anger and angst
Shimmering like a penny out of reach in the subway grate
(Shimmering like a coin kept safe away,
you'll never listen to anything)

So touch me or don't
Just let me know
Where you've been

We could leave it alone,
I'm sure there's someone who knows
Where you've been

You never worked well with our group
Not with the faults we found
So we fixed you with cement galoshes
No one can save you now
Unless you have friends among fish
There'll still be no air to breathe
You could drink up the entire ocean
I'll still find someone to be everything we know that you'll never be

So touch me or don't
Just let me know
Where you've been

Or we could leave it alone
I'm sure there's someone who knows
Where you've been

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4/25/13

 

a list

I can't get to sleep right
I can't get any comfort
or security that when I wake up
things will stand still

I can't sleep at night
so I make a list
of things I do to
be at ease

but it doesn't work
I try sleep for hours
but it just won't work
and I'm beyond exahusted

of this life,
me,
this world,
this family,
work,
study,
this appointments,
this government,
this boy,
these dreams.


they
never
stop
filling
up.

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miss missing you

sometimes
before it gets better
the darkness gets bigger

the person you would take a bullet for is behind the trigger

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4/20/13

 

I should

I should cut my nails
I should make my bed
I should wake up
I should calm my head

I should do so many things
in order to function
but fact is
nothing actually seems to work

more than this

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4/14/13

 

save rock and roll


No, no
Wherever I go, go
Trouble seems to follow
Only plugged in to save rock and roll

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4/13/13

 

IITY

he'll break me
I know

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4/7/13

 

t c b part III

we forgot to live while observing the living

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t c b part II

simplest and the dullest
and the smallest
and the tiniest
wish of mine
was for you to say

'hi'

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birthday wishes and a moshpit

life changing
self transforming
movements of the soul

I make discoveries every day
with or without the help of the ones around me
I try too hard to grow up
and I suddenly did

and now
everything is turning into
something that has sense
which has never had
before

it's quite nice
to settle in the world
once in a while

and even when surrounded
by sound and noise and creeps
I can stay afloat
and continue my life all alone

life changing
self-transforming
experiencies


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4/2/13

 

stickers

it doesn't matter how much I try
I can't stop thinking
about how much
we are alike

the things you say
the things you do
the way you laugh
and even the way you move

and I love it all the same
even if I don't like it
even if I wash it away
you will stick

just like you did in the beginning

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t c b




you move way to fast and I can't react 

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let the flames begin

somewhere weakness is our strength
and I'll die searching for it
I can't let myself regret
such selfishness

my pain and all the trouble caused
no matter how long
I believe that there's hope
buried beneath it all
hiding beneath it all
growing beneath it all

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six days

the town has been sleeping for six days and
the highways have gone blind
the streets have cried
and the flood washed it all out

the tide came in and took my life away
and as it flowed away I said goodbye
because nature knows
it's way back

the town has been sleeping for days
and I don't know what to do
it's part of this self-discovery
I'm going through

the town has been sleeping
the people have been sleeping
my life has been sleeping 
for days 

or years
(who can tell the difference? 
how can we know that this town isn't dead?)

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user's guide

the user's guides are good to read
because they are written by
machines
who think in objects

and if we think ourselves as objects
we are dismountable and we come in pieces
that we build
year after year

we frequently ask
ourselves
questions that have been answered
and problems that haven't been resolved

we are a machine
we are
a perfectly well organised 
machine

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