stranger's disease

"i wish i believed you when you said that this was my home"

1/22/17

 

january

do we have to build a wall over strange desires?
is it compulsory to back away from what makes us stronger?
my feet hurt and my hands bleed
but the drumming in my heart doesn't seem to be stopping.
and my skin has turned red,
then black.
scorched, tanned.
glossed over by time.
i am rock, sand and waves;
i'm never stopping till i get what i want.
now i'm stronger, happier, still not sure of anything,
i'm the most powerful me i've ever been.

buckle up guys
i'm coming

1/7/17

 

week #1

there was a hole in me that was there long enough for me not to see it. it was the abstinence of self love given up for the promise of company. it was a hole that i filled with things unsaid and pretty much ingrained in my brain that i couldn't be happy without somebody else.
but it's been a week of weakness and crying myself to sleep over thoughts that back home seemed hopeful. i cried for the death of what i always wanted but at the same time never had. i cried for how i should have done things differently. i cried because i didn't know how to act. but it was just one time and then i was free again. 
the sea looked at me and my throat clogged up. the sea was watching my every move and corroded the palms of my hands in five minutes. it was a cold embrace to be honest but it was for the best. it reminded me that loneliness is my worst enemy but solitude doesn't have to be. i can be alone at times and take care of myself. this is what i need.
i hope they don't call, i hope no one texts. i hope no one reminds themselves of me again. i hope fall comes with things to share but i'm not waiting for the world to unravel infront of my eyes. i've acquired a taste for disappointment which will, in the long run, keep me alive.

Archives

January 2013   February 2013   March 2013   April 2013   May 2013   June 2013   July 2013   August 2013   September 2013   October 2013   November 2013   December 2013   February 2014   March 2014   April 2014   May 2014   June 2014   July 2014   August 2014   September 2014   October 2014   November 2014   December 2014   January 2015   February 2015   March 2015   April 2015   May 2015   June 2015   July 2015   August 2015   September 2015   October 2015   November 2015   December 2015   January 2016   February 2016   March 2016   April 2016   May 2016   June 2016   July 2016   August 2016   September 2016   October 2016   November 2016   December 2016   January 2017   February 2017   March 2017   April 2017   May 2017   July 2017   August 2017   October 2017   November 2017   December 2017   January 2018   February 2018   March 2018   April 2018   May 2018   June 2018   July 2018   August 2018  

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?