calling out first

i wasn't supposed to fall
and i don't think i did
but you make me lie awake
at 1 AM
when i would fall asleep.
the image of your
head sleeping on my legs 
haunts me to the point of no return.
and the blackened waters
heating up in broken couches
and sleeping on the floor.

art meant to love

"you've got a sensible eye
for the finest
for the weakest and the best
art"
and then he plays and nibbles around
with his fingers on black keys.
somehow this was always meant to be in my head.
am i a sensible piece of art?
am i inside the complex keys in your mind?
am i, as you fall asleep
the fleeting shadow under your eyes?
it's the never ending question.
all i know is you haven't been mine.
if i am a lover of the art
am i art meant to be loved?

parisian skies

i love the tiny veins on your back
it reminds me of the way that porcelain cracks

work talks

he asked me if i could sneak out
at night
and be with him.
i told him i had never been alone.
"what did you do those
three weeks you were?
why didn't you
see anyone?"
    "well i didn't have anyone.
      i spent most of my time
      studying, dancing,
      and singing."
i just spent most time 
clearing my head.

but if it had been him
i would have shared my time

true love waits

i'm not here
i'm just killing time

thank you youth

oh youth
oh wonderful youth
you bring me down
in pieces
no information no precision
i am at a loss at skylines
they break my heart and bones
they crack my hips open
they say it's only what you want to hear
you feel what you want to feel
and i know
i know
my body is running away from me
i'm only myself when i'm drowning
i have learnt to be one in the face of death
but i wished it would leave me alone
i want to be okay sometime you know
i want to have fun and not try to
explode
oh youth you make me
nervous
you make me sweat
i don't recognize faces
thank you, youth
i know i'm beautiful
but what for?

desert talks #1: light fields


it cried today.
i asked if it could not be sad tomorrow.
we had some arguments when i came back
because we hadn't seen each other
in a long, long time.
the waves almost left us far from shore
and drowned me.
but i'll keep on fighting.
be good to me, desert.
you're growing up.
i think we're growing up together.