the days the balcony swayed

death is right around the corner,

a bad hip, a bad heart,

no longer trips to the supermarket

counting down the steps towards the void.

is she scared?

what does she think about dying,

about it being so obvious that you will be gone soon

what will she do?

will she get rid of her clothes,

earrings, jewelry,

will she stare out the window with more intensity?

will she notice she way her clothes smell,

enjoy ironing, turning on the fan,

will she call me and tell me it'll be alright?

will she bask in the sun,

since light rays can't hurt her any further,

does she have one last wish?

is she at peace?

is she at peace?

family drama

family issues are so weird because i never wanted to tell my friends. i see that now that i'm older. my step brother is being incredibly aggressive towards my mom and step dad and the only one who knows is my boyfriend. in the past when i was single, no one would know. and i tend to hide it, as someone who never hides anything, i hide what my dad did to me and now what my step brothers are up to. seems like talking about family is always the wrong choice to make.