stranger's disease



afterlife drabbles #2

never be okay with anyone or anything if you are not okay with yourself first. learn that the person that must be the most important to you is yourself: dedicate time to realise about how you feel or how you wish you felt. draw up plans to achieve whatever you have in mind and just remember that you can do it, but just don't do it for somebody else. having a limit, a deadline of some sort will just block your mind. remind yourself that your only spectator has to be yourself if you wish it to be that way, the only reader, the only listener. do things you'd want to do. say things you'd want to hear. be the person you wish you'd met. because maybe that person exists, it's you

Labels: , , , , , ,



it just takes time
and some other times
it takes patience
and work
but it always takes
its god

Labels: , , , , , , ,




so this is the end
of you and me
we had a good run
now I'm setting you free
to do as you want
to do as you please
without me

remember when
you were my boat
and I was your sea
together we'd float
so delicately

but that
was back
when we could talk

Labels: , , , , , , , , , ,




now this is off my chest
and pulling you off never felt so good
left behing your perfect grin
and heavenly blue eyes

and I'm totally okay with that
I'm not going
to let you
control my life

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , ,



there's a hole in my chest

there's a hole in my chest!
and you can't see it
because life in its metaphorical sense
  is inert

       (and so am I)

there's a hole in my chest
like you burnt me through
all the way down to my soul

 my throat tightens

I need to s c r e a m these words
but the hole in my chest took out my l u n g s
I hope you hear me,
I hope you can see me

     falling through

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , ,


hold me down

and from below the corner of my eye
I see the life I once loved
and the person I once knew
but it's just not us

the water's running wild
and I can't stop moving forward

there's no such thing as
there's no such thing as

on purpose

there's this glitter in your eyelids
and mouths taste sour
forgetting is betting
wounds won't heal by the hour

from the corner of my eye
you're slipping away
grabbing me from my chest
and pulling down


but not for long

I'm not your stray dog no more

I wasted all this time
all my future
half a year
precious time
for someone
who doesn't care
and for someone
who doesn't understand

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,



it's fine

I wake up every morning
at 6:15 
and I undergo the same awful journey
even if I try to look for
something nice and inspiring in my way
there's nothing
just the same dullness

and then I reach school
and I see the same faces
I wonder if they also have black rings under their eyes
I can't tell by myself
I don't even look at them

like in a slow motion film
eight hours go by
as I try not to lose my head
talking about the things that keep me alive
with my friends

(or at least that's why they pretend to be)

only by then I wonder why
the headache is piercing my sanity
as the horns and buses slash my brains
slapping my mind loudly out of its carcass

and in that awful journey back home 
I forget about everything that happened
I wonder if that person walking back home is the real me

I don't even want to go back home because home means
pushing yourself a little bit more over the edge

and when I get there
I sink myself into a chair
and become a subject of understanding
who only finds aid on the Internet

I clean myself, pretend it's allright
'try to relax'
I tell my mum I did well in History class

but what if I've been an idiot all this time?
what if everything I've ever excelled at just didn't matter
and I was the actual stupidhead this time?

and when I put my head to bed at night
and cry myself to sleep
begging for mercy
I see it's 11:56 pm
and that I've wasted
just another day

how can this be okay?

Labels: , , , ,


January 2013   February 2013   March 2013   April 2013   May 2013   June 2013   July 2013   August 2013   September 2013   October 2013   November 2013   December 2013   February 2014   March 2014   April 2014   May 2014   June 2014   July 2014   August 2014   September 2014   October 2014   November 2014   December 2014   January 2015   February 2015   March 2015   April 2015   May 2015   June 2015   July 2015   August 2015   September 2015   October 2015   November 2015   December 2015   January 2016   February 2016   March 2016   April 2016   May 2016   June 2016   July 2016   August 2016   September 2016   October 2016   November 2016   December 2016   January 2017   February 2017   March 2017   April 2017   May 2017   July 2017   August 2017   October 2017   November 2017   December 2017   January 2018  

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?