stranger's disease



part iii: fall out

it's the thrill
i kissed him to keep him warm
and to keep me warm
he's already asleep in his mind
i think
and i'm losing mine
i dressed up but it's so cold
it's the thrill
have you ever felt it go?

now he's cold
his head spins
his record collection resembles mine
in oh so many ways
let's make out on the floor,
over the kitchen counter
against your bedroom wall
i want to retrace your jawline with my fingers
and wake up in the morning 
with a crippling feeling inside
i could be dying
but i'll be okay while i'm by your side
i could be dying
i'll hold you in between my arms
the space between your ribs is empty
like mine
someone's left a hole nobody can fill
i guess
i may be falling in love
and i'm so scared

where are you now?
have you lost your mind to delicacies
or has someone lost track of you?
i think about you ever so often,
my mouth goes dry with a touch.
i think of the way your eyes space out
and how you race my beating heart.
you're nowhere to be found,
you're no one.
maybe all this time i was living an illusion.
or maybe it was the part of my life
that was doomed to feel ethereal.

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