here i begin

some would've said, fine, this is it, the cards are on the table and someone has played its part.
for me, it's nothing but that.
it looks as if now i have a starting point,
the blossoming of the blood that has been saving itself up.
i trusted my gut this long,
it has kept me alive,
no doubt.
now it says it's time
to bleed out
spill it out,
all out
all out
    to breathe and play the next goddamned round
a mind-game created by yours truly
here i am;
here i begin.