war pose/your screams in my mind

i'm losing more than
i could ever win in this
sick kind of tournament
you've led me defenseless to
my own redemption
and though i'm always looking
for ways to deceive you 
you are close to my answer but
i guess you're too scared to say it
just as much as i am scared of
telling the truth.
and they look at me as if i was a stranger
and i am.
people say i'm a bad person,
well then i am.
everyone expects from me
something i know
i'm not ready to give.