thoughts about graduating

it's true,
i had time to fix it but i think
i was too scared to stop
waiting for the future to happen.
all my life i wanted to take
the teen years by storm,
and now they are gone.
i don't feel like i've wasted my time,
but the feelings have changed,
i can't sing,
can't dance,
can't write,
or say what i feel.
i don't understand
why i spent so much time
with people who have hurt me
i shouldn't have been me to
become who i am today,
probably 12 yo me
is still crying in the corner.
it took me five years to
learn how not to cry.

it's true,
i could've been so much
more than i am.
i haven't tried to be invincible
and mom is proud of that.
but am i?

guess this life has
just begun.
at least i haven't started
smoking yet.