introduction to religion/the hostility of just not caring II

carved wood images
stare back at me like
the dead film
of the dead eye
of a dead fish.

maybe they are
judging my commitment
to this particular event

fuck it
whatever.
i can't care.
“Am I a good person? Deep down, do I even really want to be a good person, or do I only want to seem like a good person so that people (including myself) will approve of me? Is there a difference? How do I ever actually know whether I’m bullshitting myself, morally speaking?”

— David Foster Wallace, Consider the Lobster and Other Essays