stranger's disease

"i wish i believed you when you said that this was my home"

2/27/16

 

trust issues

the sole idea of missing some part of yourself sounds so strange… can i detach my body from what it used to be? ever since i was a kid i felt so safe, entrapped in my walls and suddenly i feel that the person i trust the most can betray me first. the summer has come along with so many people i never thought would ever show up. and they all did their best, so did i. “it’s hard to be a human being, and it’s harder as anything goes” sings modest mouse in the back of my head while we drive through the highway at midnight. and then it’s my conscience singing, “you shouldn’t have done that.”

and relationships are such wonderful things… i poured my heart out to people who wouldn’t have heard me even if i screamed back to their faces. some of them even call me and try to reach through my walls. i got so scared, god, i was so scared and i still am… there’s no reason to be this scared. well, maybe it was the consistent pain in my chest that works as a fountain of anguish and deception? or was it the panic striking in the subway at 3 PM? even at the top of my life, i find that the one person i trust the most can betray me, and make me go through hell when all i wanted was to deep into the ocean and sink, sink beautifully by your side…





<< Home

Archives

January 2013   February 2013   March 2013   April 2013   May 2013   June 2013   July 2013   August 2013   September 2013   October 2013   November 2013   December 2013   February 2014   March 2014   April 2014   May 2014   June 2014   July 2014   August 2014   September 2014   October 2014   November 2014   December 2014   January 2015   February 2015   March 2015   April 2015   May 2015   June 2015   July 2015   August 2015   September 2015   October 2015   November 2015   December 2015   January 2016   February 2016   March 2016   April 2016   May 2016   June 2016   July 2016   August 2016   September 2016   October 2016   November 2016   December 2016   January 2017   February 2017   March 2017   April 2017   May 2017   July 2017   August 2017   October 2017   November 2017   December 2017   January 2018   February 2018   March 2018   April 2018   May 2018   June 2018  

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?