crushed alarms

But then she hopes 
down her sandpaper throat
she muffles all the screams. 
It's all about hope, you know.
About the channeling of resources
Of hard work and that FUCKING
I've put it off many times.
Everyone has left me alone again
except for like, two people.
Her inner self is crying like
a 41-year-old 
after her life has built up to nothing.
She's as important 
as the dead skin on your soles
And it wears her out like rubber.
appalling is the noise
of paper thin walls
and conversations filled with anger
Oh yesterday they held this kingdom
now it's falling down to pieces.
I wish there were no windows. 
However, I'm blind.
I can't see what I don't 
want to see.
I have been blinding out people
to protect my hopes, intact
and to protect myself from nothingness
(Which abounds inside me)
        (I'm as weary as a five-year old
alarm clock)
she SNAPS into pieces
even when everyone thought
she could hold it together.
"try not to drown me into oblivion"