suddeny i'm just too scared to grow up. it looks like to me that in a few months my life will completely change, for some reason; i no longer see myself sitting in my desk messing around with social networks. i see myself working and studying and trying to be an adult. i'm not scared of being an adult, in fact i think it is time that i become one, but this may be decisive in my future. i am scared that i'm taking a job purely because i'm in love, because, that's the first reason why i've ever wanted this job. and maybe this love won't last, and hell if anyone knows how unrequited it really is. but inside me, there's a hunch, that this is coming upon me for some reason. i am supposed to be studying what i'm studying for a reason and i'm supposed to take the job for some other reasons. it's all dark, but we're still in march. i think it's a divine sign. i guess i'll have to learn to trust my gut.