"I could've had
friends, yes, but the people in my class looked at me with pity, with
sadness. It made me sick. That compassion made me want to threw up.
They wanted to help me with I don't know what, more than once they
came to talk to me telling me that if I wanted help, they would be
there to listen. But with those showings of caring and everything, I
realized they just said it to feel better with themselves, to
actually have that little place in their mind where they could pin up
a paper that said “today I helped Samantha Crowl” when they
actually didn't. They did that because they wanted to hear how good
their voices sounded when they were trying to do something for other
people (in vain). So I got to understand them. They talk more than
they wanted to listen, and I was the other way around. I said little
words and listened to everything."