how can I not crack?
explain to me, please
I'm begging you I want to know
how to feel less alone and less guilty

tell me how can I feel
if I can feel relieved or sad or what

I just wish someone would talk to me
especially him
he's lying in the gurney, you see
he can barely breathe

and I all I can do is watch him,
I can't take away his pain 
nor distract him from what's happening

he's dying
oh god he's dying
he's leaving me

but I can't crack, right?
I won't
I won't crack, not once, just for him