i used to hallucinate

i used to break walls and
sometimes bleed.
I look in mirrors;
I can't see

all I can appreciate
is tight skin
red face
tired eyes

I'd jolt for nothing
you would look at me
puzzled and bewildered
mostly, scared

because I saw
nightmares full of bugs
and people
crashing into cars

it's not there
it's not there
I never tell people
I never stay

let's just run away
I'm too tired
of thinking straight
where's my blanket?


if only
medicine
could make my
life better

wood platforms/smoke outside churches

well I hope they got something better
along the lines of "I'll be there"
smoking outside churches
and just generally not knowing anything

there's this strange blur
no way, I can't shake the fear from my bones
god's chill, god's will
god almighty, god won't save you

we've been fighting for centuries
there's just one struggle one can't win
I just hope that when they look at themselves in the mirror
in the morning there will be no need of sin

this accidents don't seem to happen
can we kill the soul inside them?
who will lose the faith three
days from now?

what a way to begin
the weekend