nicotine

I've tasted you on my lips
and I can't get rid of you
so I say damn
your kiss and
the awful things you do

you're worse than nicotine

not even with delicacy

fuck
I love you
I talked about you all day
and even pretending to hate you

I love you so much
it will tear me apart
only because I know that
you simply don't want me

and my narcissistic self
still feels the sting
of not having you
wanting me

(it's just so unfair
you see?
I wish I could stop
I swear I wish I could.)

you're behind my walls
the walls of my room and 
the walls of my mind
freely bouncing around

I wish I could talk about you
and not want to disappear
I wish I could talk to you
without wanting to keep you near

it's sickening
how you make me feel
I used to be a normal person
now look at me

please
just take a look
what can you see?
there's nothing but a broken desire 
and pale hands