you hear?

i was the streets
and my hair was making weird turns
and everything i ever stood for
was bound to go to hell.
whilst i waited i froze to death
and i drank coffee and wine without restriction
maybe the former individual inhabiting my skin
would have complained.
would i have been ashamed?
i can't make people understand
that i just don't care.
i am a proper runaway.
i run i the worst times
escaping from the fathers and the mothers
who have nested me this long.
i am a sailor,
heart at sea,
sunken in machines
buses and the never ending necessity
of commuting.
for this i'd outlived
a hundred times the skin that fights me.
and for this i think
i'll keep on fighting
even if when i speak you can't talk
like looking in the mirror
like loving in between the walls

delays

i will start up the fire
it burns my eyelids wide open
i am nothing yet i burn
and i will bleed
for days and all the bullets shoot
right past behind me
i am scared
to death
and i should not fear death
as i have seen it with
my own two eyes,
i should not be offended by it.
instead i worry about how insignificant
connectivity can make us feel.
i feel so lost in you
when i wake to two hundred feelings
and i fall asleep to nothing.
i'll learn, eventually i will
and i'll stop the burning fires
that have caused so much damage in me