at the bottom

the thing
with normal people is
that they are not
like me.

I like to know things they don't.

I know this
because when I
try to talk about things
that interest me
they all walk away.

they think I'm weird
and that's okay,
because I am.

I know why I'm like
this:
I
get
bored.

trivialities
and generalisms
are not my thing.

(apart from the fact
that I don't like doing
whatever it is conceived
as "normal")

I get bored easily
and they don't.
and that's amazing,
I envy them.

I try to be normal
I've tried this month
and I just got angrier
with the world.

I can't stay
in the surface
when I've seen
what lies at the bottom.

I'm sorry
and I hope you understand
my other side.

vaccum heart and smoke spirals

yes
the same lonely heart
lives on
only now through
parties
and promises of
love
of long lost friends
and chains of smoke.
I never stopped
feeling lonely,
after all
I already know who I am,
but the passing of time
will not change my mind
it can change my
hairstyle my clothes
my friends
but it will not change
who I am
the sadness in the night
still hunts me down
and I try to fight
but after all these years
I'm worn out
and maybe it's the promise
of a good time
which helps me
live on with
the sadness inside.