it's about time

I love you
you're cute
and I like your smile
and I love it when I make you smile
you're like contagious
I always need more of you to be okay
I don't know how to say this
but I contemplate your stupidly perfect face
everyday
and then I just suddenly see your eyes watching me
and it makes me love you a little bit more
and I took so many pictures of you
oh jesus I have so many pictures of you
and many memories
and I just love that you
are going through the same
things as me
I love the fact that you like me as I am
even if I'm still far away
my fingertips
get closer
get closer
I love you and I'm sorry
I've muttered I hate yous your way
five hundred times
truth be told
I'm deeply in love with you
and I want to smash my head against a wall
because it hurts to be
like this
and knowing you've hurt me before
but I love you I love you I love you
I haven't been in love for such
a long
time
and this is so long and stupid and it's late
but I just hope you can get to trust (love) me
as much
as I do
(or want to do)

string theory

"its useless!" he screamed, in a sudden violent rage that made me snap out of whatever I was thinking. the sudden halt in his sanity worried me. "it's useless!" he screamed again, getting on his feet, worrying to kick the duvet at his feet over and over again. "all of this, it's fucking useless! there's no point, absolutely no point in running from your demons because you are tied, like really fucking tied to them, and avoiding them will not get you anywhere. stop it with the useless effort to hide yourself from everything, when it's right behind the door! do you hear me? your efforts are always fucking useless!"