parties

god I can't sleep
like seriously
I'm going
  mad
and it's just not
  light
for me

yesterday I walked for miles
until I thought it was time to make myself in
and I drank way too much coffee

   all because
you
    were going to be there


I noticed we bare ly ta lk e d
I took pictures of you
that now I can't bare to look at

sure thing I shouldn't blame insomnia on you
  but it's so unsettling
  so upsetting
just like you

grace

I wished he watched me while I made things
things like thinking or drawing on my arms
I wished he noticed me when I laugh or when I try to smile
because I know he likes to see me like that

but the more I think about
him watching me
the more empty I become
those eyes are gone