i cling on to something so needy as
people, trying to convince myself
i can be different.
what i can be is new. i can be mistaken,
a beginner, a rookie,
a child, young.
there's more to that, learning the pace of your own needs.
but somehow i feel like i need to show up like someone else.
but it's me who got me here,
who created the opportunities, fought the fight,
made time to grow.
it's me they want there, the person they will listen to.
to keep denying that space is to deny the good that comes with it.