it feels helpless. I haven't had a good idea in ten years and I think I'm about to sell out on the ones I already had. writing feels like a dead end, relating to people feels like a chore. I am usually angry, I barely look at myself in the mirror anymore.
I feel like men are the issue. men are consistently undermining my authority because I am a young woman. as if that meant anything. I could fix my own car if I wanted to, I just paid you for the convencience and because you happen to be an idiot. I can pay for my own stuff. I could escalate my own issues but you're in my way to upper management, so what's the use. I don't know. I don't need them. and it annoys me so terribly.
I digress — this is not the point. the point is that I am angry and I don't know how the anger is gonna come out of me.