i've been crossing off appointments,
emptying my calendar.
maybe it was too much of a stretch
when I said I wanted to "keep my friends";
I didn't want me at all,
maybe,
they weren't wrong not to want me,
I mean my calendar's too full,
a lot of meetings,
a job nobody understands —
I might just hover above them, for all I care:
why show up anymore, right?
I feel welcome at home,
I really want to be laying on my couch,
writing,
drinking vermouth with indian tonic
and eating olives
while I listen to the same miles davis album on repeat.
see miles davis will not break my heart,
they will.
a difficult thing to think about
yet very amusing.