i played dress-up and dress-down for strangers
i acted as if the world revolved around something bigger
placed the bets, lost the keys
the mirrors are eloquently placed to attack the body at an angle
it suspires and conspires against my will,
the lack of faith has been replaced
by the absence of the bible in the drawer.
there are a mixture of hotel rooms this year in my head
they resonate with not being able to deal.
i like them.
it makes me feel in perpetual motion.
escaping from nothing at all
for only two hours.
the hallways are almost always empty
fluorescent lights guide my nightmares
there are panels i can't touch and there's people i don't want to see
there's no will to call for safety,
the mattress is rusty and unhinged,
how many bodies
have been in your head
this week?
don't talk to me or look at me or pretend to love me.
it's not like i'm here to stay.
the appeasement was signed with blood and sweat,
hands in throat
legs instead