unanswered

maybe today i'll learn
that sex doesn't make me better.
that maybe men are meant to be mean.
that i won't find someone to love me forever
as fast as i think.
everyone's got their fair share of mistakes
and everyone's got their fare share of wrong doings.
i guess i've taken my stall
and i won't keep myself waiting
for someone to show up.
i guess i just want to keep up an image
or i want to prove
that i don't have to be alone.
but all of this has only weakened me.
it has made me vulnerable.
now people call me a whore.
now i think myself as a whore.
and it's not your fault,
it's not my fault either.
i just can't bring myself to meet someone
in real life.
i have to work on it.
i'll get back to you when i'm ready.
now i'll take things slowly.
or i guess i'll try.
with you i hit my head against the pavement
oh so hard.
this was the culprit
it has shown me
that i'm not supposed
to trust the blindness of space
and make my way through life
at a steady pace
because after all
i am oh so young.